October Overview...

Ressa's 3rd grade class gave a Halloween musical production. It was terrific!

Here she is afterwards:

There she is right in the middle with the white collar.

Then the church "trunk or treat" party went on as is does every year. All the cars line up in the parking lot, decorated to some degree.....(oops we were too busy to get to that this year.) and hand out candy as the kids go by. Here's Ressa, Austin, and Melody all decked out:

Believe it or not: Melody wanted to wear this Minnie Mouse costume which I made for myself AND WORE back when I was 21 yrs. old. I'll admit we had to do a little pinning up in the back, but still. How depressing (for me) ...what happened???

Mark, Mackenzie and Ashley hand out the candy.

Mark's sister Helen came down from Oregon and Mark got to stop by and visit with her one Saturday on his way out to visit Kelsey in Oxnard.

Kelsey was doing great and hit dear 'ol dad up for matching dress and shoes for the high school homecoming dance. They had fun shopping together.

No sooner than returning from Oxnard, and Mark was changed and dressed to head off again to the Daddy-Daughter Hoedown that the church held for all dads and daughters (ages 8-11). I hear they had a blast.

Mark was teasing Joey the other night just about whether or not he's really going to all these church dances every Saturday night. Mark joked: "Bring me back some pictures. I want to see what it's like over there." Be careful what you ask for...here are some shots of Joey and friends holding up the wall at the youth dance.

One thing I consider a nice return for raising our family here is that have no prejudice in them. There is such a diverse mix of people around here from all over the world that the kids grew up accepting everyone for their values and personality and take no thought for what nationality they are. I even hear them throwing out racial jokes at each other and then all laughing about it. I'm glad they get along so well. It's easier to get through life that way.

Next blog...recapping our three October family birthdays.

Heard Around the House...

Mark to April: "It's no wonder we get along so well. You've got a doctorate in Feelings and I'm only in grade school."

• Mom to Austin just before heading to bed: "Austin, just be prepared...You cannot leave for Magic Mountain tomorrow until I make sure you've got suntan lotion all over you."
• Austin to Mom: "Aw Mom, that's ridiculous! I'm not even going to need it!"
• Mom: "How's that?"
• Austin: "I'm only riding on the fastest roller coasters all day!"
• Mom: Huh?

  (Ressa's climbing up on the exerciser machine and Melody appears with a handful of ice cubes to start dropping into the back of Ressa's pants!)

• Ressa: (screaming!)
• Mom: Well, I guess instead of 8 birthday spankings, it's going to be 8 ice cubes.
• Ressa: OH NO! I think it's going to the forbidden zone! ----------Everyone laughing loudly----------------
• Kids to Mark: Isn't Ressa funny?!
• Mark: Actually, that's what I want her to call it. ------------more laughter------------------------

Is There A Resemblance...or is it just me?

You can sure tell Melody is related to my mom, the child in the picture above!

Confidential to Barbie & Marilyn:

Would you both be able to sing in a trio with me, at Ressa's baptism? The song is "I Feel My Savior's Love" from the Children's Songbook. I emailed the music written in 3-part to you both last week. Ressa requested that we three sing and that Steph and Austin be the speakers. One of Ressa's best little 8 year-old friends is a pro on the piano and will be playing the opening ("I'm Trying to Be Like Jesus") and closing ("I Am A Child of God") songs which will be cute! Mark will play the piano for our song. Comment here if it's ok. Thanks!

"Are You Down Homes? Ya Wanna Go?"

English translation: Do you want to fight? Thanks for our guest writers Austin and Kelsey for their contributions to this blog's title. "Are you down, Homes?" is the Ventura, CA version of do you want to fight? "Ya wanna go?" is the local version. Considering how my job went this week, this title is very apropos and actually what's been on the tip of my tongue with this little guy I'm working with. The administration collectively believes he has missed a few good spankings in his six year old life. They think with discipline provided at home, he could have been a well-behaved child....as they say most kids with DS are. But if I say apples, he says oranges. If I say, yes you are, he replies, no I not. While seated in a chair at a table I have to sit perpendicular to him facing his right side with my left shoe and knee bracing his back chair legs so he doesn't shove away from the table and take off...cause he will. He tells me shut up! go home! repeatedly. But Thursday was the straw that broke the camel's back, as a matter of speaking. He had just succeeded in getting urine in his mouth and then tried to bite me! I couldn't march him up to the principal and say "he bit me!" because I did not LET him do so. When I felt his mouth around my forearm, I jerked back and said, "DON'T YOU DARE DO THAT!!!" Yes, in the intimidating panel interview I did agree to diaper a kid if necessary, but as I spelled out to the principal in a phone call Friday...that is very different from diapering someone who is physically fighting me tooth and nail NOT to diaper them. I'm liable to get a terrible sickness under these conditions! I told him I'm not comfortable diapering this boy again with out a couple "white coats" holding him still. So in the meantime, the principal had the boy's aunt remain nearby on Friday and I called her in to take care of it. Sad to say, but he said and did every mean, defiant thing to her that he does to me! He even slapped her hard on the face twice! One of my "mentors" at the school said that if his behavior cannot be controlled, he will grow bigger and stronger and have to be institutionalized as a teen. The teacher I work with asked me Friday, "Are you dealing with him the same way you would if he was your own child?" "NO WAY!" We both chuckled at the thought. This coming week, my approach will be different. I'm going to look at it that way and haul his sorry little tush back to the "naughty chair" for some time there. And I will have to continually put him back in, back in, back in, and just make sure my stamina goes farther than his. I feel like it's for his own good. He's so used to always having his way at home. The teachers down there have all made it clear I need to get tough and very firm with him. I told the principal, "We are rapidly approaching my 'point of no return'. Surely this has moved out of the realm of the responsibilities of an aide!?! I said, "I feel like somebody working is a psychiatric hospital without my vinyl gloves and white lab coat." He laughed and agreed with me 100%. He's putting a call in to HIS boss for direction. They're all very helpful and supportive but it's laughable at times when I stop and think about what they're really asking of me. For example, after I informed them I would not single-handedly diaper him anymore, they came up with a temporary solution. Compliments of the school health office, I gathered up my keys at the end of the day Friday and found a stack of ten of these, neatly machine-folded, for my use until a better arrangement can be made:

I was nearly doubled-over laughing. CAN YOU IMAGINE??? When's the last time you saw the local kindergarten aide wearing one of these??? I thought it was a joke. It wasn't...just a well-meaning offer from the health office in my time of need. Everybody has their specialty down at the school and nobody is to tread on anybody else's specialty. But COME ON!!! I complained that once he starts trying to reach into the back of his britches, I don't have 30 seconds to put on the latex gloves they've provided me!!! So how do they expect me to have time to GOWN UP??? Now maybe I should just think about this a minute. If they're going to provide a gown, I may as well request something more high-quality. If I arrived to school in it, I'd be ready from the get-go. Forget the paper gown. This is what I need....

The only ones who might have a problem with it are the parent volunteers who are in the classroom every day. I can just imagine them saying to themselves, "Hmmm. She knows something I don't...WHAT IS IT???"

Ok, deep breath...I'm getting worked up about this again... Gotta relax! Hope your week went smoother and that you were surrounded by more kind, considerate people between 11:20 and 2:50pm than I was.

(I did suggest they run an ad for a "Bionic Aide" and if they get a reply I'll be more than happy to step aside.) Haha!

Misery Loves Company

Well, you should have seen the look on my face when Mark presented me with my own AARP card last weekend. I had no idea I should be expecting one. In fact, I still remember the day, only months ago, when Mark not only threw away the first AARP publication to come to our house...but tore it into at least two pieces and shouted, "NO THANKS!" while tossing away. No I was not excited to say the least. He said they offered a free card for the spouse and was taken aback that I didn't appreciate his thoughtfulness. Mark expounded on the discounts up to 30% that I can get if I flash this around town. I said, "You flash yours first---then I'll flash mine!" I think my comment threw him off and momentarily he wasn't so hurt by my rejection of the card. Even THIS coupon queen has her limits. ***You should have seen this card at first! It was awful! (All I can say is, beware when somebody asks for your baby picture. Mark couldn't have known, but it is truly amazing what they can do with the technology behind age-progression photography.)

Mark contacted the company and expressed our disgust with the poor appearance of the cards. They were gracious enough to send out new ones. And along with it several thoughtful gifts for us to use at our leisure. (I thought the scarf was a nice touch. Honestly, I hate to imagine the photo without it).

For our trouble, they included a clock featuring the mission statement:

and matters just wouldn't have been settled if they hadn't included a company t-shirt for the both of us:

And by the time we unwrapped the mug, we were smiling again:

If YOU received all these fine gifts, you'd know what the next obvious question was: "Where are the bumper stickers?" Now we have the comfort of knowing they are just a phone call away.

Today both cards, his and hers, remain holding fast to the desk. Neither one has found a permanent place in either of our wallets. Perhaps we're too proud. Perhaps the discounts weren't good enough. Perhaps it's that bright "warning orange" stripe across the top...it's hard to say. I suppose the discounts aren't all that bad. It was news to me though, that they start pushing the membership down your throat long before a guy actually retires. But now that Mark + spouse are officially new members, they've nearly got us wrapped around their finger on this bargain only offered during the first six months of membership.....50% off on a bathroom remodel! We've been thinking about remodeling the bathroom, but when I saw the brochure---well, this is actually quite tempting! Mom and Dad might be moving in some day. They would probably appreciate a bathroom of this caliber. We SHOULD be looking at things from a more practical sense. Thanks to AARP, I'm beginning to see the advantages to the membership. Thanks again Mark for thinking of me and for my new card :D

If THIS blog doesn't get Mark to post a comment.....I'm convinced nothing will!

***NOTE TO THE LITERALLY MINDED: This is a work of fiction from the three asterisks to the end. We did get the cards and they are still on the desk; no, it didn't have pictures; no, they don't pay for a bathroom remodel; nobody asked for a picture, nobody sent one; we didn't get a clock, t-shirt, or mug...just a good laugh out of it! Remember the AARP slogan: if you think any of this is true....you could be a member too :D

CONGRATULATIONS BARBIE!!!

I've been thinking about Barbie up in Calgary, Canada all week competing in the Sweet Adelines International Competition. I tuned in to the webcast one day, but it was the quartet finalists. The next chance I got, I clicked on competition results and read that Barbie's group out of Anaheim won 1st place. Way to go Barbie. We went to their annual show last month and it was the best singing we've ever heard! Tune in to Barbie's blog (the link is listed down the right column as "Aunty Barbs") where I'm sure she will post all the details. She must be having a blast!

Where Was My Helmet When I Needed It?

Before taking this job as an Instructional Aide for Special Day Class (one on one), I had only joked about needing a helmet right along with the kids. Well, yesterday it would have been far more practical than funny. This helmet featured here at left would have provided ample protection. The school is in a tug-of-war with parents who want their DS child in the regular classroom. The school officials (and I) believe it's a bad placement choice and that the child belongs in a county program specific to his needs. So in order to prove the obvious to the parents under all requirements of law, I must now up the requirements of the boy to be much closer in line to what the other kindergarteners are doing. I make sure he is always doing something constructive, but changing activities every 1-5 minutes will no longer be tolerated. I am to give him a choice between two good things, but he gets to choose which is "FIRST". The trouble came when the second choice had to be done and he voted "no" as he sat on his bottom refusing. When I came over in a happy voice and told him it was time to go to do "centers", I approached him on his left side, leaned over and as I went to grasp his left hand with my right hand, he delivered quick slap down the front of my face with his right hand! It came out of nowhere! "WHAT DID YOU DO THAT FOR?" I said. He always wants to go home to his aunt and I still couldn't get him up. I said, "Let's go call your aunt!!!" He stood up immediately, and I walked him (full of purpose in my step) and only then did I add, "...and we will tell her what you just did to me!!!" Well, this new stubborn insistence on my part to a kid who has never been told "no" before at home anyway, is the recipe for outright rebellion on his part. That's what the school wants so that's what I have to do. He's like a kid going through "terrible two's" and it's so ridiculous to expect him to act like the other 5-6 yr olds. Obviously though it's even more ridiculous for the parents to want to pretend he's normal and put him in there. He's a frustrated little person, very spoiled at home, and I told the principal that this new approach is going to make things much worse before it gets better (if ever.) Can I call this a "real job"???

"When I Grow Up" by Melody

Melody's at the point where the teacher lets them try to just "write away," sounding things out the best they can. She brought this home from school recently. I thought it was so cute. My translation follows...

Translation: "When I grow up I want to be a worker at the store because I get to put the stuff in the bags. Being a worker sounds fun."

For some reason, (probably her demand of 100% total honesty from herself and everyone around her) she put this on the back...

Translation: "I know that I don't know how to be a worker at the store."

Pictures Worth Sharing!

As any good mother would do, in my opinion, I saw Joey's cell phone lying in my room so I picked it up and took the opportunity to read some of his conversations with all these kids (girls mostly) from Washington to Utah to Arizona to California. And as most of the readership would already know, if your mom's name is Darla (and your grandpa is Papa/Dave) you're instinctively very curious. (I hate the term suspicious :D I am happy to say that all 3,997 text messages were on the up and up. All right, just kidding---it wasn't that many. His phone's real cool though. Too rich for my blood. You know how these single guys with jobs like to spend. I looked through his pictures he had on there and found some good ones.

Here's a great one of Marilyn's Cooper, Grandma Darla, and Stephanie's little Ellie Jayne, taken after Aunt Wynne's funeral last August.

On the same occasion, here's one of Grammy/Rosalie with my oldest, Joey:

...but of course, when you're 17, there is an unwritten code that prohibits excessive smiling. So it was no time at all before he was back to this:

Just way too cool...

Suzy Homemaker Gone Terribly Wrong...

There's a 6'3", 225 lb. man I see everyday when I take the girls to school. He is always pushing a stroller with a toddler in it, with two children at his side, wearing Levi cut-offs and a t-shirt with his hair going in every direction. I'm assuming he is a lonely stay-home-dad/house husband who is starved for social interaction. Everyday he is talking to someone different. I hope he didn't hear me giggling. This was the scene today as I walked passed him...

Stay-home dad, speaking in a loud, obnoxious tone to a silent Asian man in a suit (whose body language says...how do I politely walk away): "I have absolutely nothing to do from 9am to noon everyday. I sit there rotting on the couch like sawdust on the floor."

I'm thinking to myself...you might want to start by brushing that poor toddler's hair for the first time in a month. Poor kid! Poor guy! Where's mom???

Quotable Quotes

(Seeing Melody had no pillow case on her pillow:)

Me to Melody: "I'll go get you one 'cause EVERY girl HAS to have a pillowcase!"

Ressa: "AND A MAN!"

Heard Around the House...

April: "I'm not very hungry this morning."

Mark: "It's no wonder. That salad you ate last night could have fed a Nigerian family of five for a week!"

A Milestone in Joey's Life

It feels like deja vu right now after registering Joey to take the ACT test on Oct. 27th. It will take from 8am to 12 noon! I can remember Mom dropping me off early on a Saturday morning in '83 at Foothill High School where I went to take the same test. I'm afraid there's too big a chance of Joey getting lazy if he spends a year around here after graduating from high school. I'm going to push him to head off into the "wild blue yonder" where he can be surrounded by other peers doing the college thing. He's very responsible and does great away from home. He seems to be all right with the idea and mentioned that his accounting teacher told the class that BYU-Utah has been rated as having the #1 accounting school in the US. We had to put down four schools to have his scores sent to. The list was something like this: BYU-Utah, BYU-Idaho, the LDS Business College in Salt Lake, and Utah State in Logan. He wants to be around guys like him who are planning to serve missions when they're 19. Now we need to check out the application deadlines for all these schools plus some in California as well. It will be fun to send out all the applications and see where he gets accepted.

He is off work for 6 weeks with this bad ankle sprain. He got his friend hired there in his place to help out the restaurant while he's away. They really appreciate his concern for the restaurant's welfare. The owners said if it wasn't for the "age 18 rule" he would be a server right now. They also told him he can have any days off he ever wants because he so hard-working and dependable. That makes a mom proud!

BARGAIN ALERT AT KOHLS & (surprisingly) RALPH'S!

• Ralph's is selling all Lean Cuisine frozen dinners for $1.66/each through Saturday.
• Kohl's has up to 30% off anything purchased through the 8th. Check your mail (got mine on Monday) for the mini catalog with the peel-off place on the cover to reveal your savings: 15%, 25% or 30%. If you don't get the 30% off, call a friend and borrow hers. Great deal!!

There is Hope for the Public High Schools of Today!

I loved hearing all about the requirement for every senior in high school to perform 15 hours of community service or write a 10 page research paper on something to do with government. It is part of the US Government class for seniors. Joey is having his Young Men's president sign on as his supervisor and he will help Joey find some projects to do. We love this guy who's the boys' leader. He's very cool and a lot of fun. He owns a big sail boat with his dad and takes the boys out on it occassionally.

This time, he gave the 16-17 year old boys in his class (about 10 of them) a challenge that if they would read the Book of Mormon from cover to cover between now and the end of January he would take the guys on a sailing trip over to Catalina. That was last Sunday that he made that promise. We get home by 2:30. At 3:30, Joey (who communicates by text message except in emergencies...I hope) had three friends show up at the door with scriptures in hand responding to his digital invitations. These four guys sat around in the living room taking turns reading about 3 verses each. They were at this for about an hour and got through ten chapters! I couldn't believe these guys. They really want to go!

It reminds me of my grandpa, David Adams (Papa, we called him) who never felt that things were right in the world if his "family" wasn't reading from the Bible every night. He came from relatives of the Pennsylvania Dutch who were very religious. I come from a Mormon heritage on my dad's side, but Papa and my mom set the most dilligent example of the importance of reading scriptures together as a family. I understand that his family and grandparents and great-grandparents did the same. When I get my family together, whether we're reading from the Bible or the Book of Mormon, the message is all about following Christ's teachings and example. And when doing so, I always feel good, thinking that I am continuing a family tradition set by:

1. my mom, Darla, and
2. her dad, Papa - David Adams, and

3. his parents George & Mary Adams from New Mexico and
4. his parents, George & Nettie (Justus) Adams from New Mexico and
5. her parents, Andrew (pictured below) & Margaret (Lenhart) Justus from Illinois and

6. her parents, Jeremiah (pictured below) & Rebecca (Breece) Lenhart from the Pennsylvania Dutch.

BRIEF UPDATE

I don't have much time these days, but I thought I'd put something down. I don't want to lose the readership. It seems we've lost Kevin in the deep, dark caverns of internet innerspace. I've got a 2 hr. math test I have to go take at the college sometime between now and Saturday afternoon. I need to do about 150 math review problems in my book first to really say I'm prepared to go. Another book critique is due in history, 2-3 pages single-spaced on "What Went Wrong?"...the clash between Islam and Modernity in the Middle East. I find myself applying that title to all sorts of situations these days. Mark is helping me out with that one. He is an amazing resource. Sometimes, I'll have to respond to the kids' questions with, "Honestly, I have no idea...you better ask the smartest guy in the house." (that's Dad.) There are days though that Austin would claim it's him, but experience has taught us all otherwise. Hahaha! Mark speed-read my book in about three hours just so he could help me with it. My job is sometimes exciting, sometimes gruelling. Sometimes, I come home energized by it. Other times, drained and worn out. I hear the following phrases on a regular basis from a calm, sweet little 3-year old mind that's projecting through a 6-year old body:

1. No I not. I not do it.
2. O-tay! (for OK)
3. I do it myself!
4. Shudup Miss ___ (insert my last name here.)
5. I sap (slap) you Miss ___.
6. I miss you Miss ____.
7. Play chase! You chase me, Miss ___.
8. How ya doin'?
9. I love you Miss ___.
10. A-s-s. You a - s - s. (I blame the parents for this one. )

There you have the real meat of the situation. I clean up about one poopy pull-up a day. The days I don't, I come home energized. I can't explain that phenomenon. I have three wonderful ladies who work around me as kindergarten teachers who are always ready and willing to come help me and offer constantly if the situation gets ugly. In spite of the negative comments I hear (most I don't think he even knows what they mean) the little boy is now refusing to hold anybody else's hand when they come to get him for "speech" or "resource" or hearing/vision tests. It was a little embarrassing, but yesterday he shouted "NO!" at the lady, pulled his hand away and said, "I HOLD MISS ___ HAND!!!" Yikes!

The other day was so horrible I was dripping sweat off my face, chasing him around trying to pull him up (45 lbs) off the floor after flopping down so many times. After 2 hours of this the kindergarten and speech teachers approached me and said, "Miss ___ he is scheduled to go to speech class now. Do you mind if Miss D. takes him now? Exasperated, I replied, "Oh that's perfectly fine. I could really use a break about now!" They responded, "Uhhhh. I'm sorry but you're supposed to accompany him." I laughed outloud and said, "Well, I'll just wipe my brow and....why not. I'm up for anything." My bangs were wet like I'd just sprinted two miles. They laughed at me while saying how sorry they were. Only had 2 days that were THAT bad. Since then I refuse to pull him up off the floor. I'm learning how to be manipulative too. He loves me to chase him around the big trees in the playground area and switch direction over and over. He laughs so hard at that. That's the carrot I'm dangling over his head now to behave in class. Wish me luck!

Playing the Day Away on Balboa Island!

The girls and I had the day off today...one of those twenty-seven paid days off work that us teacher-types get off between now and June. (Can't beat it!) Mark went with us and we had a great time down at Balboa Island.

It's one of my favorite spots to go walk around and hang out.

We stopped and saw Grammy first which was really nice. The girls made a bee-line over to her special hydraulic-lifting recliner chair. They love that thing. I began to smell motor smells though and got them off it asap! Hope it's not broken. (Insiders: tell me if it is!) We ate at our old favorite,

The Crab Cooker and saw an older lady in there that I was sure was someone off the movies, but Mark insisted she died already. Oops! Then we went and parked at our favorite little parking lot off "A" Street to find they have now installed parking meters. There were parking meters EVERYWHERE. Always looking for a bargain, we noticed a spot with 40 minutes left on the meter. NOW we had enough quarters.

We rode on the ferris wheel for fun and then rode on the ferry over to the island.

That was so much fun.

We took a nice, long walk around the waterfront to the ice cream store on the main street.

As we were walking back, I got a sad call from Joey saying he had injured his ankle AGAIN playing basketball today.

He has been terribly accident-prone in his teenage years. He's had a broken wrist, a broken ankle, a sprain, and now something involving the right ankle for the first time. We were 75 miles away and he needed to see the doctor. The doctor had to have a letter giving permission faxed before they could see him. Well, thanks to Barbie and her willingness and skill, she helped me get it accomplished in no time flat. Ashley drove Joey and he made it over there just in time. The doctor said is was a severe sprain, swelled up like a golf ball. He insisted Joey has to be off of it for 6-8 weeks!!! He wrote him a note to give his work, and wants him using crutches. He has a big boot/cast on his right leg. He told me he's learned already in his anatomy class that it would have been better to have had a break over a sprain because the bone has a blood supply which makes it heal faster. The ligament tears do not, so it takes longer. On the bright side, he's studying! This also means we get our Friday night babysitter back, he will get more sleep during the week, he gets to go to the young mens youth group on Tuesday nights again, and he will get to collect some sort of disability pay until he can work again...since he has paid into SDI. It's such a shame to have this happen just as they are preparing for the wrestling season to begin in a few weeks....We'll just have to wait and see.